Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
