I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
