I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
