so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I will pee on everything he values.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
