dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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