Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
