I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Randomize
