so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
