ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
