I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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