yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
