last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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