I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
