that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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