I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
