i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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