his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
