what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
