I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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