I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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