I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
