No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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