some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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