Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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