hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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