Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
