this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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