summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Randomize
