We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
