i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Never underestimate the power of titties
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
