We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
