His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
