You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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