Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
