I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
