I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
