No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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