I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
