This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
