people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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