1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
