i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
