Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
operation have a gay friend backfired
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
