My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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