Ambien. No doubt about it.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
