Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
