You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
