She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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