I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
