don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My ass is underappreciated
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
