Im at strip club and am horny
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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