Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
