She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
