you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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