I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
