My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Less talking, more tequila
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm sobbing to NWA
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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