It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
