i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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