I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
