I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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