I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
