just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize