after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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