Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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